I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
