marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
