What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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