And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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