if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
