It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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