She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
