Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
