It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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