I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
