the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
