I feel great
I just peed on a car
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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