thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
