Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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