quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
