i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
