when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
