you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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