i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
