Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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