she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize