i think i have herpe
just one?
you win again, gameday.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
