and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
