Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
