"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
