Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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