The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
