are you still at the devil's house?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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