I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize