I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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