the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
