Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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