We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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