p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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