does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
