you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
