She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
