apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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