I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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