Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize