its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
