so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
