i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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