Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize