If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
