They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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