did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
