yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
