You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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