Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
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