my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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