ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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