I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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