I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
