Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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