All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
