Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
