We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
