"it" just moved
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
