Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
