garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
false alarm. still invincible.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
