I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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