What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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