Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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