I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
