well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
