I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
