CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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