idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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