I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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